I shall tell you my secret,

if you come down to Tiru to meet me.

the answer my friend,

is blowing in the wind,

the answer is blowing in the wind.

The muse is back!

Some of you might have heard of Ram Punyani. He is a wonderful person who speaks about non-violence, and social integration. He has a deep understanding about fundamentalist attitudes, and he talks in the simple language of the common idiot.

Two years back, I attended one of his classes and I got two chocolates to take home. One, he so looked, so spoke (content and style both) like my dear grandfather, that I could have kissed him. Second, he said, 'Nothing is ever achieved if you just sit at home. Nothing, other than writing a book.'

Of course, he was talking about Marx, but I got my justification. If I am at home, I must write a novel.

Since a few months, nay years, the thought of writing the second novel is bugging me. I promised myself, that I would start when the first one is published. Signing a contract with a publisher being as good as publishing, I have been looking out of the window for my muse.

Somewhere between yesterday and today, the writing angel has come home. Words have always surrounded me but now, the characters, the plot, the mis-en-scene, they can't wait. They flash past in visuals, sounds, dialogs, and they chose the most maddening times to tell their tale. When I am cooking, when I am cycling, when the lights have gone (this happens often in Bangalore).

Oof, I am so happy. I spoke with my sister, another novelist, on the phone today till my ears became warm. As I was narrating the structure to her, she told me in her usual diplomatic manner,

' It can be more interesting if you make it more interesting.'

Ha ha. These Mumbai girls, you know. It's not their fault, though. Its merely the effect of civilization.

But my muse is a goddess, she don't have no sibling rivalry, she told me to listen.

'It can be more interesting if you make it more interesting.'

Dumb as this may sound, it had a point. In fact, it had a pointer : The Creative License! I don't have to tell it like happened, I could go on a roll. I could spin the story wide, as long as I hold the whip at the center!

Thanku, Latu.

life is postponed

How does one deal with a head bogged down by continuous procrastination?

when the computer screen needs to be wiped, since a week, maybe more.

when a close relative is sick and lonely in your hometown and you can't even call him up because you don't pray for him?

when you get an sms saying you have to pay your mobile bill just two days after you finally payed up last months bill?

when you have more than a dozen emails to be sent to people you don't know?

when your friend in Tiru calls and tells you that the land prices around the Mountain have shot up to Rs. 15 lakhs per acre and blows your dreams of farming in Tiru ?

when you wonder whether heaven (read Tiru) is a place or a thought or a word?

all I can do whenever I am blue, is to look at the dark night within. Maybe, when the eyes get used to the darkness, a couple of stars start to shine. And then, maybe, a dark outline is silhouetted that reminds me of a mountain.

a helicopter in my hair

Ever heard of a camerawoman getting hit on the head by a helicopter while she is shooting? Just because I pan to the squealing in delight kid, while papa flies the chopper without a license. The kids eyes widen in the camera's window, as the object bangs my head.

And then the helicopter's wings get entangled in my hair. I am left holding the camera, the helicopter dangling from my hair, while both father and son double up laughing.

'Help me to untangle my hair!' I yell.

'I cant. We will have to cut it. Pavan, get the scissors!' he says.

'You dare not cut my hair!'

'Its only a few strands, Mango. The helicopters wings have wound up the hair badly. Its impossible to untangle!'

'How, Papa? Because the wings went round and round?'

'Because your father doesn't know how to fly a plane without banging in someone's head!'

'Here, I found the scissors. Shall I cut ?' He asks me without a trace of guilt. Or shame. In fact, he is trying not to sound gleeful.

'If you can shut up for a minute, all it requires is a little patience.' I struggle with my hair, pulling the helicopter, entangling it further.

'Ok, you cut.' says my loving husband.

'Yes, Ai, you only cut your hair.' Boys! They will never understand what hair means to a woman.

'I shall cut off these wings of your precious chopper!' I threaten.

'Aai! Please No! I have been waiting for this helicopter since so many years. Your hair will grow.'

'Yes, Mummy, your hair will grow.'

In face of this wisdom, the great sacrifice is made. Father and son untangle my hair from their precious helicopter, and I am left alone to moan the damage.

Now when I pass a mirror, and see the small tuft of hair sprouting out, I growl, 'Grow!'

the mountain bites

yet another innocent. A first timer I had planted there sent me two smses today.

first sms: The Arunachala is a very good soap. Cleans you well. (Iske jhaag ne jadu kar diya!) Do buy. Available in packets of Presence and Devotion, in stores near you.

(photograph stolen from here. )

second sms : (ten minutes after the first ) And after cleaning you up she wraps you in her arms and lets you put your head in her lap, stroking gently, till you immerse completely in her love.

Do you think my friend needs rabies shots?

Hello my loves,

(begins this email message from Wayne Liquorman, an old time sweetheart)

One of my favorite quotes is: "Life is like licking honey off a thorn." It points to those twin qualities that make up all of existence. There is no pleasure without pain, no joy without sorrow. To deeply realize this is to come into harmony with What Is.

Ramesh's words in this month's newsletter (look towards the end, below) point to the fact that this deep realization comes from a "bold, clear look" into the Essence. One of the most direct avenues into this looking is to start with what is there in front of you....your experience of the moment, your breathing, your sense of aliveness....any of these will do. If you find yourself spinning off into philosophical speculation....what does it mean? why is it happening?...come gently back to the experience in front of you.

With Grace comes a dissolution of the Problem of Life leaving an unobstructed view of life's ongoing problems and joys.

With much love,
Wayne

Send a blank email with ONLY the word SUBSCRIBE in the subject line from the email address at which you would like to receive the newsletter to: subscribe@advaita.org

stolen horizons

One of my close friends says that I have ADD. Short for attention deficit disorder. My mother tells me that I never liked it when someone talked to me for too long a time. That is quite true. Sometimes I wake up bored and agitated because the dream has lasted too long. Half my tea-time is spent trying to go back and remember the stupid story backwards.

Yes, there is an alarm inside me which goes 'lets get out of here', whenever the other is going on and on and not on and off. Silences are like oxygen for me. Music also gives me space to feel my breath.

When I first went to attend the ten day pranayam shibir of Ramdeo Baba, I was dismayed to hear him talk non-stop. 'Just learn to tune him out,' advised my sister. Since his frequency didn't change much, it worked.

And how do we learn to tune out visual noise, living in a city? One has to look ninety degrees UP to look at the moon. Some of us forget to do even that, our necks rebel.


Which is why I love this picture of the mountain. The silence begins with your feet, on the bare earth. And Arunachala is so full of promise, the way he sits, with a straight neck of a royal, touching the kingdom of white clouds. A silent, blissed out Guru, my mountain.

Gothim

Yes! I stumbled across Chetan Bhagat's blog while looking for his photographs to pirate and upload on the sparks post below.

He has been blogging for not so long, since April, and it looks like a blog meant to promote his latest novel, 'three mistakes...'.

However, it also has some nice lines, which touched my writer's heart, 'The idea of writing is to express, not to impress.'

And for the first time, I am looking forward to a movie because it has been written by someone, rather than directed, acted, by so and so.

Here is a trailer of Hello, a film soon to be released, based on his second book, 'One Night at a call center.' Its a pity Katrina plays the Goddess. Should have been me. ;)

Chetan Bhagat 's sparks to light up your day

I wish I had the video, but words are a writers best weapon, so here goes:

Inaugural Speech by Mr.Chetan Bhagat for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program 2008..

Keep the Spark

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited.. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these

sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks.. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find.. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected,aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals.

It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement.

But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday?

They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practise, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.

I must add,

don't just have career or academic goals.. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever.. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school. Where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously

. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether it's my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There are heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark

. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure.Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger.What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first

book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you.

But it's life.

If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India . From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release.

Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts , having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you.

In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty darn lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark..

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them.

They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, you eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends.

And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of billion sparks.

Mystery, it is a mystery.

Can we handle it?

Working with youngsters, I sometimes notice a difference.

Yes, they are stupid, and slow. To understand, to let go, to be themselves.

They try too hard, to impress, to not copy, and to show.

As me and my contemporaries are getting there, I also notice sometimes.

We sprout knowledge and then wonder where it all came from.

And our bag of fears bursts open.

If we don't know where it lives, how will we find it when it takes a break?

her hands shake,

as she holds her new baby. This is about adopting babies, and calling the post, 'Gotcha.'

I sometimes wonder how I will face the kid's growing up and away? And then I wonder why I have such thoughts only when he is fast asleep?

What happens when an independent woman falls in love with her child ? Does she remain independent?