long ago, when i fell in love with cinema, i had mulled over this thought : there is something in a book which cant be there in a film. and then, it became, but there is something in a film which cant be there in a book.
so, here i present both: a you tube video and a book review. please see both together.
a guruless seeker is a strange thing to behold. it is hungry for truth and at the same time fierce in its preservation of freedom and sanity. i miss those glorious feet but experience has made me immune to the hocus and to the focus.
so u g krishnamurti had to happen, thanks to a facebook friend who posted his videos.
one after another, i watched u g on youtube blast everything that can be blasted. god, gurus, mothers, yoga and phoga. no need to hocus, nor to focus, just be natural. what a tremendous relief u. g. is. i was thoroughly enjoying myself till i saw this video.
this is a video about u g 's last meeting with friends. there is mahesh bhatt among them. u g looks old and frail, and his sofa cushions are propped up in an inside-out, unique design. i recognize other you tube videos of his to be from the same space-time from this cushion=hill.
at the end of this video, u g says, 'no spiritual shit' and asks people to get out, to let him die alone. or rather, the camera abruptly moves outside, and mahesh bhatt announces that u g wants everyone to leave for ever and he doesn't want a clever guy hanging around.
this moment jolted something inside me. i couldn't 'enjoy' U G anymore. i dreamt that he is alive, hiding in Tiruvannamalai, and only the genuine seekers can still find him. could this be true? since he was an anti-guru, he might even fake his death. I needed a first hand account of his death. now where do i find that? i was going to have to go to mumbai and try to meet mahesh bhatt. i find him a bit too loud, his personality is too overpowering. he would probably shoo me off. imagine my happiness when i found that he has written a book on the exact thoughts that are ruining my sleep.
'all autobiographies are lies, and biographies are double lies.' u g has said. i agree. i still dont know if this book , A taste of life, written by mahesh bhatt on the last days with his dearest friend, is factual or made up. only mahesh can answer that. all i know is, the hurt caused by that video up there is healed. mahesh told us to get out, but then he invited us back in the room where u g breathed his last.
and what an invitation it is. it engulfs you, in a big black bear hug. four years back, in italy, you time travel. and when the book is over you come back to your home but something in you has sunk into the mediterranean sea.
this book will stay with me. when i face the death of dear ones, or my own, this book will talk to me.