Saturday, May 29, 2010

don't cure me of my malady,

said Sri Ramakrishna, somewhere in the Gospel.

We were all meeting for the first time. They asked us to draw something that represents us or a part of us. It could be living, it need not be human, but it had to be accompanied by a brief intro.

The date was 28th May, a day after a full moon night. A night I had spent on a train from Chennai to Bangalore. If you draw a straight line from Chennai to Blr on a map, and add a weight that pulls down the line somewhere in the middle, you may drop on the Mountain. (On the map, it reads Tiruvannamalai). All night, as I looked out of the train window at the mesmerising moon-lit earth, I kept yearning for my Mountain to descend from the heavens. But ofcourse he didnt. He kept out of my sight, but kept me awake, throbbing so loud in my entire being.

So naturally, I drew the mountain, with a full moon. When it was my turn, I held up the paper and announced,

This is a Mountain.
It is called Arunachala.
My soul is stuck in this Mountain.

For a few minutes we all talked about the full moon Arunachala magic, how it draws thousands, lakhs for the pradakshina. I admitted to them that had I seen it, I would have jumped off the train last night.

'May I say something?', she asked me.


'I really hope that one day you find the Mountain in Bangalore.'

'But the Mountain is in Tiru. It will be hard to find it in Blr.' I deliberatly misunderstood.

'No, I mean, I hope you find the Mountain within you.'

'But it is within me only. Like I said, my soul is stuck in it.'

'And you only asked us to draw something that represents ourselves, it need not be human, but it could be more alive, ....' I wanted to add.

Everything has its place in the world as well as in our daily routine.
Devotion and reverence are all right, for example, so long as one recognizes them for what they are - affectivity - and to that extent a form of bondage. But when one sees some-thing for what it Is, it then loses its force and cannot effect any further bondage.

Ramesh Balsekar

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