Tuesday, May 31, 2011

the two Madhukars

Once upon a time, long ago, I used to record talks of my master, Ramesh Balsekar. After nine months, I had collected a big chunk of tapes. So when Madhukar Thompson, a fellow seeker who had been to Papaji ( Poonjaji from Lucknow) asked me to lend him the tapes for writing a book on Ramesh's teaching, I happily obliged him. I remember quite clearly that Madhukar was clean shaven bald headed.

I always thought Madhukar was rather arrogant and when he ended up as a 'Guru' I was not surprised.

Once upon a time, not long ago, after Ramesh had passed away, I got a request from a friend for those tapes, as they wanted to build an audio archive of Ramesh's talks. I searched on facebook for a Madhukar. There he was, as Madhukar ji, been to Papaji, teaching advaita, etc. I was a bit taken aback to see an excessively sweet expression on his bald frame, but I thought, what the hell, people change.

I then messaged him, asking him if I can have the tapes back. I waited a couple of days, and thought, its been so long, he has probably trashed them. I was quite prepared for a 'sorry, but I don't remember where I kept them', response.

His reply drove me up the wall.

'I have transformed totally since I last met you. So I am afraid I cant help you with anything to do with my past life.'

I was too pissed off to even reply. Past life indeed. How irresponsible! How maddening. How anti- spirit of spirituality!

Now, a couple of days ago, I read on fb that Madhukar has passed away in a road accident. I was dismayed. There go my tapes, I thought. Out of curiosity, I go to his facebook page, and there he is, happily posting some stupid photographs and feel good messages of peace, etc. One more life? Transformation again? Face-booking from heaven? ( wouldn't that be heavenly?)

So I write on the status of the death post : If this is him, (Madhukar ji's link), he is still posting.

And I get a reply, 'No this ain't him. This is his website. '

And I see this grey haired, self assured Madhukar looking straight at me. Yup, he is been to Papaji too, teaches advaita too, has written many books too.

Papaji, why did you like the name Madhukar so much?


Banno said...

What confusion! But did you get your tapes back?

Manjushree Abhinav said...

Banno, I don't even know who the real Madhukar is anymore, so I guess I will have to forget the tapes. it would have been nice to hear the nineties ka ramesh once again, but the teaching is alive inside me, i have heard him so so much.

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