A wife's diary

Whether or not it happens with other couples, my married life sometimes rocks. Umm, rocks as in, the boat. Being a grasshopper, I am often tempted to jump the boat when it rocks. After all, I know how to swim.

But what if there is a storm in the deep blue sea, and I drown? But how can I stand the heat in the frying pan?

So I ask God to send me a parachute, and I hover over the boat.

Instead of going to a counselor, I go to google. And I interpret one of my favorite poets.

Here is Kahlil Gibran, on Marraige.

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

---- There is no point in asking what on earth made you marry this guy. Because right now, you are such a mess that you probably cannot remember that love is a reason, greater than reason itself----

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

---Make a discipline of giving time to yourself, let go the ideal, 'a family HAS to have fun together'. If fun has to happen, it will happen when the kid is in the toilet, you are in the kitchen, he is on his comp: why not?---

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

---a bond of love, if you must have, make of a blue ribbon, not a legal document. Let him yell at the kid, let the kid yell back, why not trust natures vagaries in the process of bonding? ---

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

---I got this the last time. We now have multiple sources of income, different bank accounts. Then why does the little girl within, still want daddy to look after all her needs?---

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

---Meditate. Sing. Dance. Blog. :) ---

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

---Don't say, 'This is not a lodge,' every time he comes home late. ---

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

---If I am a pillar, and if I am standing straight, the weight on me is less if I can trust the other pillar. Move over, expectations. Welcome home, acceptance. ---

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

---Yes, now square those shoulders, cut the strings of the parachute, and get back to work---