Wednesday, September 30, 2009

my birthday eve

Tomorrow it will be exactly one year since I first met, saw, hugged and cried in the arms of a Paramhamsa.
'I am always with you, Ma. Always.' He had reassured me.

I remember a story, read in a big fat hardbound book, based on the life of an old timer marathi saint, Gondawalekar Maharaj. When Maharaj was seven years old, he met a strange old man sleeping in the village temple. (Those days villages were small and a passerby was immediately noticed). Maharaj gave him some food and asked him,

'Where are you going, old man?'

The old man was so old, he couldnt even walk without a stick. He finished his meal, had a glass of water and stood up, balancing himself with the stick.

'I am seeking my master.' he told the little boy.

'I see. And who is your master?'

'I dont have one, that is why I am seeking him, no? '

'But why now? You are so old, you should stay put. You might die on the way.'

'Death is certain. The next birth is also certain. What I dont know is this: It took me all my life to come to this conclusion that I must seek a Guru. God knows how many births I will have to go through before I get this yearning again. So it is better I seek him now. If I die on the way, maybe God will have mercy on me and make me a seeker in my next life.
Nice talking to you, but I must be on my way. Goodbye, Salaam, Namaste.' And he was off onto the next village.

This incident did the job of waking up Gondawlekar Maharaj, at the tender age of seven.

Why should I wait till I am seventy? Why not start now? If this is what it comes to, better I dont waste time.

And off he went, walking all over India. From Mahrashtra to Bengal to kashi. Later in the book, he even meets my ex-ex-boyfreind, Ramakrishna Paramhamsa.

'Kill yourself. You kill yourself. You can do it.' Ramakrishna told him. (!) They knew what to say to whome and who can take what, these greats. Not like us who get reassured, and our tears and noses wiped.

So how did I celebrate my first birthday eve? By starting a meditation and healing center in my home. Three people had come for the satsang, two of them had brought along their little pigtailed daughters, so my boy had his own party in Papas room. We did Nithya Dhyaan and then some healing.

I even got a birthday present. For the past one year I have been doing this same meditation alone, and its almost always been a bit of a struggle, a little boring, legs going to sleep and all that. But today, I was not sitting. I was flying. My whole body participated in the process. All my cells were singing different, independent songs. So this is why they meditate?


LeTraveller said...

I think meditation must be done all through the day in every action we perform. The day I stopped asking, a different kind of meditation arises.

The one thing we must be careful of meditation is feeding the ego, clinging on to sensory experiences (flying, seeing lights, violent jerks etc..).

The Mind-Ego duo can mislead us into thinking that we are moving to higher planes, but we must ignore them and move on to the higher goal.

Grasshopper said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LeTraveller said...

Dear Grasshopper....My comment was purely objective and in a mild tone. Definetly not subjective (or) pointing out. I thought we could have continued a discussion and not argue.I was just sharing my experiences and roadblocks which I faced.It is true that the experience we all have is different. If there is any mistake from my side...please forgive me.

Grasshopper said...

Dear LeTraveller,

"The Mind-Ego duo can mislead us into thinking that we are moving to higher planes, but we must ignore them and move on to the higher goal."

I see a contradiction in this statement.

Basically, as long as the ego exists, there is no way the ego can have any power over itself. Only a master can guide a disciple to the egoless state.

It was not my mind ego that told me that I am feeling good, it was a purely bodily ecstasy, which has expressed itself in the best way it knows: writing.

I have made no statement that I am evolving spiritually.

Every person has his own path and till I ask you to advise me, please refrain from it.

That I am moving toward the ultimate, I have no doubt. And frankly, I dont care for the speed or the height since I have found my master. He has transformed the climb into a pleasant walk.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful header!

Please tell me which book it is where you read about the Marathi saint and Ramakrishna Paramhansa. I would very much like to read it.

Best wishes,

Anonymous said...

Beautiful header!

Please tell me about the book in which you read about Gondawlekar Maharaj and Ramakrishna Paramhansa. I would very much like to read it.

Best wishes,

Grasshopper said...

The book is in Marathi. If you can read it, send me ur address and I will courier it to you. :)
Its titled: Shree brhamma chaitanya Gondawlekar Maharaj : Charitra ani Vangmay, by K. V. Belsare.

Its kind of heavy, at least a kg. But its one of the most intense and sweet book I have ever read on spiritual life.

Anonymous said...

Hi Manju,

I can't read Marathi! Is the book not available in English translation? From what you say it seems like a great book.

Thanks and best wishes,