I knew I had nothing to ask of him. Not because I am completely satisfied in life. And neither because I lack the faith that he can give. But because I knew that the deepest way to experiance someone is in silence.
As I approached the throne on which he sat, meeting the devotees one by one, I wasnt prepared for the melting in my heart.
The way he touched them on the head, and then hugged and then said something to make them laugh, the creation of intense intimacy in a public space. It was an art, more lovely than a poem. It was so beautiful that it made me cry.
'Do you have anything to say to me, Maa?' he asked, and the tears rolled down my cheeks, as I nodded a no.
He put his hands on my head, and then hugged me. I felt my body relaxing.
'Know that I am always with you,' he said, after the long long hug.
A fresh bout of tears issued.
'Always,' he repeated, as I turned around and walked away, making room for the others.
This was the highlight of a programme I attended yesterday, called Kalpataru Darshan. Kalpataru is the tree that is by nature, wish fulfilling. It is supposed to exist in heaven. And the Guru was Nithyananda Swami.
I went to meet him because of two reasons.
One, he is born and brought up (and enlightened) in Tiruvannamali. Second, I was attracted to his healing philosophies, his You-tube videos, and his looks.
So did I have a deep experiance? Not really, as there wasn't silence within me. I think I am going to have to go again, and again, till the day I can meet him without my eyes wet. And as they say, may that day never come.
Let me keep the bhakti, you take the gyan.