After a traumatic couple of hours of changing the blogs clothes, I know the only cure is to write a bubble gum post.
Lets see if you get it.
I just came back from a trip to my favorite place, where this beautiful mountain stands still.
An old friend, film maker, trying to write a script with a writer's block, called me to kick his ass into writing, he said.
So off I went to Tiruvannamalai for the weekend, and asked him what the problem was.
'There is this creature sitting on me.' he said. Now this fellow, lets call him , V, is a strong man, rides a motorcycle, (from Mumbai to Tiru), makes ad films, etc.
'I see.' I said.
'Yes. I feel tired all the time. The other day I had gone for an energy work out (read fancy massage), and the lady told me she can feel this really negative presence around me.'
'I see.' I said.
'So I told her, if this creature is meant to stay with me, he is welcome. It's God's will, right? I mean, he cant stay unless God wants him to, so its Ok with me.'
'If you can do something about it, by all means go ahead. I wont say don't touch him, he is mine'.
I am totally stupefied. To buy time, I say, 'Why don't we discuss the script, V ? Tell me how much you have done.'
And we brainstorm the structure, scenes, dialogues, jokes, song situations. . . .V rejects all my suggestions.
'If not this and not that, then what?' I ask him.
'Yes, and why. And how.'
After a couple of hours I go down to the apartment I am sharing with a couple from Peru, lets call them A and B. A is the guy, B is the lady.
I tell AB about V's creature.
A : Well, I am not surprised. I personally have not encountered creatures one cant see, but I do know a human hybrid.
Me: A what?
A: A Human hybrid. A very nice lady. I have kept her in hiding. In the hills.
Me: Wait a minute. What exactly do you mean by a human hybrid.
A: Her mom was an earthling but Paa was an alien.
Me: Alien? From a space ship? They exist only in the movies.
B: He ain't lying. I have seen her.
Me: Oh. What does she look like?
A: She is tall, six feet, and she is slim that's it. She looks like an earthling, more or less.
Me : Then how do you know she is not a ... pure race?
A: She re-grew her spine. She was paralyzed, but she has healed herself. She is a medical miracle. Her temperature is four degrees lower than normal.
Me : I see. And why are you hiding her?
A: Well, she has a strange energy. You know, like when two people talk, some exchange of energy happens. Like when we are talking, you know, you and me,..
Me: Yes, yes. So people cant stand her.
A: Well, actually she is very cute.
B : Bullocks! Cute, my ass. She is a freak!
A : As you can see, B doesn't like her very much.
I have had enough. I leave them to themselves, and go off to sleep. The next day, I am supposed to meet V for breakfast.
As I get up from meditation, I get an sms. 'I am up since 4 am, writing. Lets meet for lunch.'
So I do my Ramana Ashram, Nithyananda ashram, oh mountain beautiful routine and get another sms. ' I am still writing. How about we meet around 4 pm?'
I spend the afternoon chilling out with the Peru couple. A is sprawled on the sofa, reading my book, B is reading 'Trust me', my sister's book. I am too happy to need a book.
A : Your acknowledgments made me cry. It is really sweet of you to give thanks to the plants.
Me : I once read a book, it said that plants actually control us. They feed us with their ideas, not just vitamins. . .
A : Of cource the plants control us. There is one plant in Peru, which they use in ceremonies, which helps us see the dead.
Me : I didnt quite mean that. . .
Suddenly V makes an entry.
V : Shakti Maa! What did you do to me? I got the begening! And the end! This is how it goes....da da da...
Me : Wow! Perfect! You have a hit!
V: What did you do to me?
Me: I just talked to you, acted as a sounding board.
A : You must have done some magic on V's creature.
B : Or maybe the creature found you more appetising ?
B winked at me, but the thought chased me all the way back to Bangalore. Which is why I have written the creature away.
Let it roam around in Blogosphere....