height of helplessness

A visit to Tiruvannamalai always begets stories of the Gurus and their gopis.

The non-believers who are pulled in by the Mountain against their conscious choice, are continuously aghast at the goings on. It's fun to hear them talk.

Sample this from an English school teacher, who now runs a restaurant, Manna Cafe, in Tiru.

'If I put you in a corner, and make you sit down, and pray to you, waving lights in your face, you will start glowing in a week.'

'Yes, I suppose so. But what is your point?' I ask.

'This fellow, Nithyananda, must be secretly amused by all the women going ga-ga after him, falling at his feet.'

'Why?' I ask.

'Because he is a nice fellow. I saw him in town the other day. He has a nice smile.'

'Doesn't he?' I smile.

'Aw, shut up!'

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And this German fellow who has now become a guru of sorts, giving talks informally.

'Its nice to sit with you.' I say to him.

'Yes, I am always sitting with myself.' he replies. We all laugh.

'Did you hear of how Yogi Ram Surat Kumar left his body?' he says, after a while.

'Wasn't he in coma?'

'He was Unplugged!'

'Oh! By whom?'

'By his disciples!'

'No!'

'Yes. They waited till Maha Shivaratri! They put a spring under his arm and the spring went up and down as the devotees came to get his blessings. The poor fellow was in coma, giving blessings to his devotees by a spring! And on Maha Shivaratri they Unplugged him!'

'Disciples are heartless!', says the almost guru, revealing his deepest fears?

'Its the height of helplessness, isn't it?'

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'We are not going to Tiru again!' wails my hubby. (About a week before we end up in Tiru).

'It's always Tiru, Tiru, Tiru! You are demented! You cant see any other place in the whole world. God made lots of other nice places to go to. He didn't make only the Mountain. The kid needs more exposure, I need a change, I need a break from Tiru.'

'Ok, ok. Calm down. Here, have a glass of water.'

He drinks water.

'Mountain se mera sir pak chuka hai.' (My head is cooked by the Mountain).

'Ok. So where do you want to go?'

'You agree?' he is incredulous. 'Yipee!'

'Where do you want to go?' I ask.

'We can go to Gokarna beach. It's a cool place.'

'Sure. But Christmas is peak time. Make a booking first.'

'Ok. ' A few calls later, he gives me the deal. ' Swiming pool, fifteen hundred per person, per day, so it will be three point five k for three days. Perfect.'

'Fifteen hundred per person? We are three of us. So that is three point five into three k. And swiming pool? In December? Who swims? You want to learn swiming?'

'Ok, I will make more enquiries. I have to go out now. I will call you.'

In half an hour, he calls.

'We will go to Tiru only.' he says.