Trust me, a book review

This is a thankyou post for my sister, Raju, for being my first teacher. After Aaee, of course. 

Trust me is a book for the young Indian dame, on the brink of her life. Are you wondering whether to live in a city alone? Do you experiment with life such that you cants talk openly with folks back home? And most importantly, are you glamour struck, with the glitzy filmy world?
This book is a must for every young woman with stars in her eyes who wants to make it big in the film world. Forewarned is forearmed.
Our protagonist has a filmy name: Paro, short for Parvati. With a name like that, it’s not surprising that the book begins with heartbreak. Paro, has just had an abortion. Her boyfriend ditched her, and her mother is too old fashioned to be confided in. So she is in a bad mood, and she doesn’t care to hide it. She doesn’t know how to deal with it either, so she confides in her boss, who turns out to be a lecherous old man. So what happens next? Our girl is twice as pissed, and walks out of the job. In the typical Mumbai fashion, she has to take whatever work that comes up next, a job as an assistant director, in a typical bollywood masala movie.
Paro meets Rahul, a younger, fresher specimen, with feet firmly planted in the heroism of the filmy heros. He sings, dances, flirts, and above all, he knows not to hide his love. Although his character comes through as stupid and clichéd, he has one thing going for him: a mind without the slightest doubt. A man who knows only one thing, that he loves his woman. The ultimate weapon that can win a woman’s heart-mind-soul. How long can Paro resist him?
Sample this conversation which occurs in the middle of a shooting schedule, during a lunch hour when Paro is painting the set.
‘What do you think of It’, I said, stepping back.
‘It looks, well, kind of… like a cat.’ (said Rahul.)
I’d been painting a depiction of Shiva and Shakti.
‘You could have said something worse, I suppose. Though I can’t think of much.’
‘Oh, it’s not so bad. I like cats,’ he said.
‘I prefer dogs.’
‘I know what you mean. Dogs are loving, trusting creatures. You know what the trouble with cats is? If a cat sits on a hot stove once, she won’t sit on a hot stove again. But the problem is, she won’t sit on a cold stove either.’
Their romance unravels as the delicate balance of trust and
passion heal Paro’s wounded pride.
Trust is a perennial issue that most of us are plagued with to some degree or the other. The author has delved into the issue of human boundaries with a simplicity that is as profound as it is clichéd.
There is story in the book of the North Star, Dhruv Tara, which serves as a beautiful metaphor for the yearning for security.
What I didn’t like about the book:
There is an apparent contradiction in the moral of the story. The title in the book asks us to trust, and so does the theme, but the atmosphere around the protagonist is totally untrustworthy. Set in bollywood, trust as an element, is least likely to endure.
What I liked about the book:
Among all the colorful characters in the film industry, there is one person who seems true, self respecting. But he is caught in the web of bollywood; an old, has been script-writer, Munshiji. Munshiji has ‘adjusted’ to the stupidity in the approach to the narrative structure in Hindi films.
It is through this character that the writer reveals herself. Bad or good, cinema is cinema. The creative tension that the old scriptwriter balances and plays with, is the actual dedication of the book.
The language has a smooth flow; it sprinkles on with a rhythm of a mountain stream.
““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““

Interview with Rajashree, author of Trust Me.
Q.1.You are a trained film maker. How did you think of writing a novel?
The writing bug bit me much before the film bug. I have always wanted
to write a novel.
Q. 2. Always means since childhood?
Oh yes. In fact, it started with me failing in first standard. I
remember not understanding anything the teacher wrote on the
blackboard in the exam. It was a case of ‘Kala akshar bhais barabar!’
Someone told my mother that if you want to educate your kids in the
English medium, you better take some effort to teach them. Not that my
mother took me to task for failing. My sister, who is three years
older, distributed sweets because she had passed, and I distributed
sweets because I had failed. So it was quite cool to fail.
But after that I learnt pretty fast. The first novel I read was
‘Coffee Tea Or Me Girls Get Away From It All’. I must have been only
eight years old. I didn’t understand much but even then I was
tenacious enough to read it completely.
Q. 3. How did you get hold of a ‘Coffee Tea Or Me’ book at such a young age?
I don’t know, it does seem inappropriate. It must have been lying
around the house. But after that I started reading Enid Blyton. I must
have been nine when I wrote out a ‘list of characters’ for a novel. We
had joined a library and I loved reading books. So naturally, I wanted
to write a novel.
Q. 4.  There is an apparent contradiction in Trust Me. Does it ask us
to trust each other or to be careful or what?
The way I see it, the book is about getting over distrust and learning
to trust again. But I am not asking anyone to trust blindly.
Basically, trust is about predicting people’s behavior.
Q.5. What kind of responses did you get to your novel? Did anyone
decide not to come to the Mumbai film industry after reading ‘Trust
me’?
Oh, I hope not. I certainly did not intend to turn anybody off about
the film industry. The kind of responses I got were quite positive.
The one that comes to mind is a Times Of India reporter from Delhi.
She told me that she started reading my novel in the office and
couldn’t put it down, so she went and sat on the back staircase of the
office so that no one would disturb her when she read it.
Q.6. Why do happy endings succeed so much? Why do we all like happy endings?
Well, not all bestsellers have happy endings. Tragedies like Love
Story also succeed. But tragedies have to be really good to do well.
They have to make you cry.
But yes, mostly people like to be happy so they like happy endings. A
book generally should have both emotions, because we like to cry and
then we want to go to bed happy.
Q. 7.  What is your take on the genre ‘Chick lit’? Do you think you
have written a chick lit book?
Although I don’t like the phrase, ‘Chick- lit’, I do enjoy reading
this genre of books.
I wouldn’t like to be called a ‘Chick-lit’ writer, but I wouldn’t go
on a morcha to get the name changed. I can live with it.
I would say that ‘Trust me’ falls into the genre of romantic comedy.
Q. 8. You have spiced the language with a lot of Indian flavor. Please comment.
Yes, it was a conscious attempt, to write the way Indians speak.
Although we have a style of speaking, it is derived from what we read,
which is mostly from the west. So the influence of British English and
American English continues, as does the sprouting of words from our
regional languages when we talk.
Q. 9 ‘Trust me’ has turned out to be the number 1 bestseller in Indian Chic-lit. What is your formula for success?
I don’t have a formula, but I can reflect upon why I think it succeeded. It is a romantic comedy set in the Bombay film industry. It uses the narrative structure of a typical bollywood film and people enjoyed that. Also, since it was priced at Rs. 95 only, a lot of people picked it up.
Q.10. Ok, Rajashree. Last question: Who are your favorite authors, books?
Bridget Jones’ Diary, by Helen Fielding, To Kill a Mockingbird by
Harper Lee, and Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola
Estes are books I can read again and again. I like a short story by
Chekov: Lament. Among the Indian writers, I like Arundhati Roy. I
recently read Arvind Adiga’s The White Tiger which I found
mind-blowing.

My favorite book

Book Review: The gospel of Shree Ramakrishna

This is the perfect book for the intellectual and the confused spiritual seeker. For it has a one point direction: from the head to the heart. Where it leaves you, singing and dancing, within and without.

The Gospel of Shree Ramakrishna is a big book, in fact it is two fat volumes. With a book this big, the first impulse is to open it in the middle somewhere and start reading. Not a good idea. This story deserves to be read from the beginning, for that is where the punch is.

M., or Mahendranath Gupta, the author, was a learned man, or so he thought. On his first visit to the Master, he is deeply charmed by the eloquence in Ramakrishna’s words. ‘He must be well read,’ is M.’s response. He is shocked that the Master hasn’t read a single book in his life.

But the taste of bliss in his gut brings him back to Dakshineshwar the next morning, when the Master is getting shaved.

The second meeting is more intimate, with a one to one conversation.

Sri Ramakrishna: Are you married?

M: Yes Sir.

Sri Ramakrishna (with a shudder): Oh, Ramlal! Alas, he is married!

Like one guilty of a terrible offence, M. sat motionless, his eyes on the ground. He thought, ‘Is it such a wicked thing to be married?’

The Master(continues): ‘Have you any children?’

M. this time could hear the beating of his own heart.

M. (whispers in a trembling voice): ‘Yes, sir, I have children.’

Very sadly, Sri Ramakrishna says,

‘Ah me! He even has children!’

Thus rebuked, M. sat speechless. His pride had received a blow. After a few minutes, the Master looked at him kindly and said,

‘You see, you have certain good signs. I know them by looking at a person’s face. Tell me, what king of person is your wife? Has she spiritual attributes, or is she under the power of avidya?’

M.: She is alright. But I am afraid she is ignorant.

Master: (with evident displeasure) And you are a man of knowledge?

M had yet to learn the distinction between knowledge and ignorance. He was under the impression, as we all are, that you get knowledge from books and schools. Later he learnt from the Master that to know God is knowledge and to not know him is ignorance.

This is an excerpt from the first chapter of the book, when M. meets the master. There is hardly any reference to M at all after this. M simply records everything as he saw and heard as he sat quietly at Sri Ramakrishna’s feet.

Sri Ramakrishna is basically oriented towards the devotional aspect of spirituality. However, he does not prescribe rituals of devotion. What he prescribes is an intense yearning for God. ‘Cry to God with all your heart and you shall surely see him.’

This one sentence, if taken to heart, can be extremely cathartic in nature. ‘Crying to God’, done on a regular basis, can turn the mind within. It can also become a hotline to the Maker.

When he meets someone for the first time, the master asks, ‘So do you believe in God with form or do you believe in the formless aspect of God?’ The utter simplicity and clarity in this question reveals the understanding of Sri Ramakrishna: he is the embodiment of the meeting of Gyana and Bhakti.

This book is a witness to the happening of another saint, Swami Vivekananda. Ramakrishna displays more than a simple affection for Narendra, the Guru literally pines for his disciple.

After all, he has a big job to do there: passing on the legacy of the inner spirit of India.

What I didn’t like about the book:

Ramakrishna was guileless; he lacked the sophistication of the city dweller. He is supposed to have used a lot of off-color jokes which were edited out of the English version. Somehow this goes against the spirit of the book, which is basically the complete flow of the master’s words, unedited, even by the master himself.

What I liked about the book:

There is story about Swami Vivekananda and the mother Kali. After the demise of his father, Swamiji was facing a very rough patch at home. He was jobless and the kitchen fire was out. Sri Ramakrishna advised him to go to the Mother’s temple and ask for her help. She who runs the universe will surely give him a job, some stable income to feed his family.

Instead of asking for the vitamin M, all Swamiji could ask for were devotion and knowledge. Again and again he went, each time he forgot. Finally he realised that the master was playing a trick on him. He was teaching him that the only things worth asking from the Goddess, were spiritual.

I feel that Sri Ramkrishna’s blessings work like this trick in this book. Once you get hooked to it, the rose tint enters your eyes. Life is not the same again.

Here is a link to a zoom in to the book.

secular or peculiar?

As I inspect Pavan's clothes this morning before he left for school, I notice a scratch mark on his nose, near his forehead.

'What happened? You scratched a mosquito bite?' I ask.

'No.' The look on his face says he wants to say something.

I wait.

'A boy in the school said that if you scratch the forehead, you will see Hanuman.'

'What non-sense! Papa, did you hear that? He scratched his forehead to see Hanuman!'

As I make his paranthas, I hear papa patiently explaining him why he should never hurt his body for any reasons, with mixed feelings.

I remember an image of Hanuman stuck on the mirror, in the house we have just moved from. Suddenly, I feel regret for having left it there.

'And we are Arya samajis. We dont worship gods.' Prayas is saying.

'Arya samajis who never do havan are only so in name.' I retort.

'Ok, so?'

'He can chose to give a face to God if he wants to.' I say.

'Of-course he can. But without hurting his body.'

'Yes. Without hurting his body.'

Much after he has left for school, I look at this image, where Hanuman proves his love for Ram by tearing apart his chest to reveal the Lord literally residing within. I am horrified at the implications it can have on a kid.

But when I see he expression in his eyes, I am stunned by the simplicity and directness of the devotee.

I remember many years ago, in the days I used to frequent temples, a friend and I were staring at an image of hanuman in red. It was very beautiful.

'It is made of ram naam.' she said.

'what'

'this hanuman. the red line. look clearly. it is not a red line. it is written, not drawn. ram ram ram ram. everywhere. hanuman is made of ram, from ram. look at the micro.'

And i wonder where can we escape? If we are made of him, by him, in him, where can we escape?

before i die...

One usually gets dozens of such mails, and maybe because I am sitting at home, nursing a sprained ankle, it suddenly makes a lot of sense.....

a forward by someone called Bronnie:

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Bronnie Ware is a writer, singer/songwriter, songwriting teacher and speaker from Australia. She has lived nomadically for most of her adult life. Bronnie shares her inspiring observations and the insights gained along the way through the diversity of her work. To read more of her articles and learn about her other work, please visit Inspiration and Chai athttp://www.inspirationandchai.com

the two Madhukars

Once upon a time, long ago, I used to record talks of my master, Ramesh Balsekar. After nine months, I had collected a big chunk of tapes. So when Madhukar Thompson, a fellow seeker who had been to Papaji ( Poonjaji from Lucknow) asked me to lend him the tapes for writing a book on Ramesh's teaching, I happily obliged him. I remember quite clearly that Madhukar was clean shaven bald headed.

I always thought Madhukar was rather arrogant and when he ended up as a 'Guru' I was not surprised.

Once upon a time, not long ago, after Ramesh had passed away, I got a request from a friend for those tapes, as they wanted to build an audio archive of Ramesh's talks. I searched on facebook for a Madhukar. There he was, as Madhukar ji, been to Papaji, teaching advaita, etc. I was a bit taken aback to see an excessively sweet expression on his bald frame, but I thought, what the hell, people change.

I then messaged him, asking him if I can have the tapes back. I waited a couple of days, and thought, its been so long, he has probably trashed them. I was quite prepared for a 'sorry, but I don't remember where I kept them', response.

His reply drove me up the wall.

'I have transformed totally since I last met you. So I am afraid I cant help you with anything to do with my past life.'

I was too pissed off to even reply. Past life indeed. How irresponsible! How maddening. How anti- spirit of spirituality!

Now, a couple of days ago, I read on fb that Madhukar has passed away in a road accident. I was dismayed. There go my tapes, I thought. Out of curiosity, I go to his facebook page, and there he is, happily posting some stupid photographs and feel good messages of peace, etc. One more life? Transformation again? Face-booking from heaven? ( wouldn't that be heavenly?)

So I write on the status of the death post : If this is him, (Madhukar ji's link), he is still posting.

And I get a reply, 'No this ain't him. This is his website. '

And I see this grey haired, self assured Madhukar looking straight at me. Yup, he is been to Papaji too, teaches advaita too, has written many books too.

Papaji, why did you like the name Madhukar so much?

malwa yatra page c : one gurubitten to another

When our eyes met, something happened.

something was said.

something was acknowledged.

what?

but what?

She had long dreadlocks. my second thought when I saw her, 'why doesn't she comb her hair?'

and I realize, with a start, that she has done the equivalent of what I did long back

: shaving my head.

she had done away with combing her hair!

Parvati Baul, the singing and dancing sadhak from bengal. I talk to her about Shree Ramakrishna, one of my first obsessions.

'Yes, we shall talk about Ramakrishna. I love him.'

What more can one say about him after this?

I hear her story during an informal talk during a sleepy afternoon. ( Most afternoons were sleepy in Malwa, probably that's why I didn't feel the heat at all ).

Paravati: I have been with two gurus. The first one taught me seven songs in seven years. The second one taught me forty songs in a day. I tried running away to south India to escape being a baul. But I was hunted down and packed back to Calcutta.

Question: Why did you transit between two gurus?

Parvati: Well, the first one told me to go to the second one. The second guru was ninety seven when I met him. He had no intention to take on one more disciple, let alone a woman disciple. First of all, he was so difficult to track down. I would reach a village and they would tell me, he has just left. Again and again. Finally, I had to bribe the women of a village with a song, so that they keep him till I come the next morning.
'I will have to check with my wife. If she does not like you, then the answer is no,' this is what the master told me when I met him and asked him to teach me.
I waited outside their house in the wilderness and was finally called inside for the verdict. As I get up to go inside, I realized that I was almost sitting on a scorpion.
'You can hang around for a few days. Only, we have no space for you inside the house. You will have to sleep outside. And we have no extra blanket either.'
They thought I would run away. But I had given my word to my earlier guru.

A guru is someone who gives you Chunawti. Challenge.



And so I slept with scorpions without a blanket for a month, after which I was allowed to sleep inside the house. After three years of learning songs after songs, my second guru passed away at the age of hundred. I asked him if he would like me to stay by his samadhi and sing and dance by myself, which I like the most. He said no chance, I have to go out and dance for the world. I have to tell them that one can go deep in something without fear.

You can ask me questions now, but keep them related to the Guru-disciple relationship. It's my favorite topic."

Question: How does one know when to trust a Guru?

Parvati: Trust is actually a thing about yourself than the other. If you trust yourself, you will know when to trust the guru. It is very important to surrender to your art form, a surrender which has rigor and discipline. Its no use learning two songs from here, two from there. Immersing yourself totally in one tradition gives you a halo, an aura of protection when you are performing.

Don't expect another Ramakrishna to come to you. Those days were different. To live in this world, the Guru has to pick up some dust off the earth. The same dust that makes your body, makes the Guru's body. And once you have accepted someone, he is like your own life. "

And then she looked across two rows of heads at me and said, 'Even if your Guru goes to a prostitute, do not shake in your adherence.'

Now I know what the look said.
the mad scorpion who bit her.
was the Guru.

malwa yatra page d

Mukhtiar Ali: Mukesh is my favorite singer. He sings straight, almost toneless. Look at this song, its almost like a conversations, its so simple.

Have you ever noticed that in all these singing competition programs on tv, no one ever sings Mukesh? Thats because the simplicity in Mukesh's singing is very deceptive. He is not an easy singer to sing. He is good for listening, for crying, thats all. And that is his style.

Me: I have heard Mukesh most when I was seventeen years old. I used to spend entire evenings all alone, crying and listening to Mukesh.

friend: Why did you cry but?

Mukhtiar : She was seventeen years old, now, why would she cry?

freind : not because of the inflation, surely.

All of us laugh. Here is a lovely song by Mukhtiar Ali.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJFfebWmKeQ

Friend: So how many times have you made people cry?

Mukhtiar: I haven't kept a count, but yes, that is the true clap.

I: And do you cry while you sing?

Mukhtiar: Oh, I cry a lot. mein to bahut rota hu.

Malwa Yatra page B

Interview with makeshift band:

After singing till 4 a m, the next morning I pounce upon the makeshift band for an interview.

Look, Niraj says, 'Leave us alone. We haven't even brushed our teeth yet.'

'Then brush your teeth, guys. You want some toothpaste? '

Five minutes later, M: So you want to sing only Kabir?'

N: Yup.

M: hmm. Kaafi gehri chot hui hai.

N: chot to hote hi rehti hai.

m: mere paas ilaaz hai is chot ka.

n: sach?

m:Sau takaa sach. aazmaoge?

at this point sunny starts shining.

s: lets sing for her.

they sing me a song.

its beautiful.

night satsang;

makeshift band is called to sing last, at 3 30am. I walk to the bus to wake them p. I have to bribe N with a cigarette to get him off his ass.

i walk into the audience, between the entire janta and the stage, as Prahladji introduces makeshift band, joking about how these new people take so much time with their new instruments.

I offer my bottle of water to Sunny and I roll it on the stage towards him. he drinks the water, I get busy picking up flowers from the floor below, from the garlands of the night.

As they start singing, I hurl a bunch of flowers at them.

(to be continued in page c )

on the road, in the song

x
Malwa Kabir Yatra 2011. Glimpses.

Kailash Kher: I am not an artist

Day 1, Luniyakhedi.
We have just arrived, and the heat hits us like a blast. An ice-gola fellow with a stall is standing in front of Prahladji's house, surrounded by thirsty people under the burning hot sun. I fight the temptation to buy a gola and go inside. Shantiji, Prahladji's wife, greets me warmly and offers me a khus ka gola. 'Khus beats the heat,' she says. How can I refuse?
I slurp on a green sweet ice and watch Kailash Kher give a bath to his cute little son, Kabir.
Night, Satsang. Kailash Kher shares the manch with Prahladji and Kaluram. Kailash tells us how a cd was once stuck in his car stereo for three months. Only that cd would play, again and again. Guess whose cd it was? Prahladji's of course.
He tells us that he has come here to listen, not to sing. He sings, nevertheless, but not before this disclaimer:
"I am not an artist here. I am a devotee who is calling out to the Lord. So don't judge my song, just sit back and enjoy."
As if you had to say that, Kailash.

When he got up and left, some of the villagers crowded around him, trying to touch his feet.

Kailash responded with a joke, 'What have you lost? Kuch khoya apne yahaan?'

I am amazed.
Day two: I have gone to pick up an artiste from Turkey, Latif Bolat. In the ride back from the airport, Latif tells me about Turkey's kabir-like mystic, Yunus Emre. Latif is very enthused about sharing the Turkish dervish with India and taking Kabir to his country.

'Turkey needs to re-open itself to Indian culture, we have so much in common. In fact, Sufism started out with mystics walking all the way to the Indus valley.
He believes that Sufism was the direct result of the first Sufi, Mansoor's travel to Indus, mingling with the sadhus here, and then coming back.
"Analhaq! (I am the truth)", Mansoor answered, when the occupant of the door he knocked inquired, Who is there?' That he was hanged for this 'blasphemy', was another matter. A lot of Sufis caught the gist of this mahavakya and started singing and dancing.

Below is a translation of a poem Latif sings for us.

Seyyid Seyfullah Nizamoglu (16th C)

The Path of Amazement

I cannot say who it is I am

I am amazed, I am amazed!

I cannot call this self 'myself'

I am amazed, I am amazed!

Who is in my eyes seeing?

Who is in my heart enduring?

Who is inhaling and exhaling?

I am amazed, I am amazed!

Who is speaking with my tongue?

Who is listening with my ears?

Who is understanding with my mind?

I am amazed, I am amazed!

Who is stepping with these feet?

Who is tasting with my mouth?

Who is chewing and who swallowing?

I am amazed, I am amazed!

Who holds these riches in his hand?

Who is the one throwing them away?

Who is buying and who selling?

I am amazed, I am amazed!

Why is there life coursing below my skin?

Why are my eyes bloodshot from crying?

Why this religion, why this faith?

I am amazed, I am amazed!

O Seyyid Nizamoglu, hear this:

Everything comes from the One.

Abandon yourself to this mighty beauty

I am amazed, I am amazed!

The flying ghost
Day three, Luniyakhedi, Prahladji's house.
We are all sitting on his first floor verandah and having our meals when a sudden sand storm blew on us and our paper plates went helter skelter in the tornado.
Bhanwari Devi's ( the soulful folk singer from Rajasthan) son Kishan in conversation with a local, as I eavesdropped.
Kishan: Do you know how this sand storm arises?
Local : Of course I do. It's an angry ghost.
Kishan: Look where my paper plate is flying. High in the sky. Full power this ghost is.

When onions fell out of the camera person's dupatta.
Those of you who have lived in hot temperatures, specially in childhood, must be aware of the cooling powers of raw onion. Most of us have had to submit mutely to grandmothers rubbing onion juice on our feet to ward off a sunstroke. Since I was in charge of the medical kit, half a kg of onions were packed in my bag.
Whenever anyone complained of the heat, I would hand over an onion and tell them to either rub it on their bare feet or at least carry it with them. Even smelling an onion can stop a nose bleed. And that's how the onion fell out of the camera person's dupatta.

The fast slow down number.

Makeshift band, the young manzil gang from Delhi, came up with a new, fast version of the song, 'Halke gaadi Haanko.' (drive slowly).

I quite enjoyed the beat, in spite of the seeming contradiction. Prahladji came upto Niraj on the stage and hugged him, saying that the lyrics are far more important than the tune, and as long as the song is heard, the purpose is served.

Niraj has promised to upload the song on his facebook page. My favorite of their songs was Ekela mat chod jo banjara re (dont leave me alone, o traveler). Niraj would half close his eyes and sway as he sang. Here is a link, to banjara, not so well recorded, but as Prahladji said, the lyrics are the loaded material.

on the road, in the song

We were two buses full. Both were overflowing with song. We stop for a chai. Its hot inside the bus, its not cooler outside either. As I walk back to the bus with the chai in my hand, I see Mooralala Marwada sitting on the road, in the shadow of the bus, happily humming a song by himself. Mooralala is always happy to sing.
I sit next to him, and am surprised to hear him sing, 'Jara Halke Gaadi Haanko'. We try to sing the whole song, and together we remember most of the words.
The next couple of hours in the bus are spent in learning this song by heart. Mooralala has a problem with the phrase, 'Bilakh bilakh kar chidiya royi, bichad gayi meri jodi'.
He would instead sing, ' Dagaj Dagaj kar chidiya royi, ...'
'Its bilakh bilakh, bhai. Crying her heart out.'
'Yes yes. Bilakh Bilakh kar, chidiya royi, chichad gayi meri jodi.'
Finally, I dig out a pen. 'Lets write it down, ' I offer.
He shakes his head, 'I cant even sign my name, ' he says, 'If I was educated, I would have reached places by now. But never mind, its quite perfect, the way it is. No point in going faster. Let the road flow smoothly. Let there be spaces between us. If we try to compete, there will be a crowd. Jara halke gaadi haanko, mere Raam Gadi wale...'

Tujhe hai showk milne ka,
to har dum, lu lagata jaa

A song I know since two decades. Prahladji is busy, tired and always surrounded by people. But I get him alone on the fifth night.
'Please sing this song for me, Prahladji.'
'Which song? I don't know this song.'
I have recorded this song in his own voice on my mobile during the web archive editing work I do at the Kabir project. I play the song on my cell and refresh his memory.
'Oh, this one? Ok, I will sing it. Let me listen once more, I forget the words....'

...Two nights later, I hear this song on the speakers, and I run towards the stage, with tears in my eyes. The latter part of the song, however, has changed drastically. From Mansoor mastana, it is now Kabir who is calling out, suno bhai sadho...

Note: I would like to invite all of you who were in those buses, to write in your experiences, the high points and the low ones of the yatra, from your favorite music to how you felt when we were kicked out of the dharamshala after sleeping for less than an hour...

a doctor without a stomach

mother dear emotionally blackmailed me into getting the yearly check up done while i was visiting her this time, and pulled me out of the house where i had been busy cleaning: my favorite passion. surprisingly, we met a very cheerful, out of the box doctor.

'your hemoglobin count is far too low.' the doc says, reading my reports.

'yes, but all other tests are fine, right?' i defend my body's self-esteem.

'well, what is the use of a perfect system that has no energy to function?'

'well, doc, with due respect, during the last few days, i have washed eight curtains, by hand, not in the machine, swabbed the floor of the apartment, washed a huge carpet, washed the terrace... now if not with energy then god must have come to help out, right? ' (ok, i added the last bit here, but the doc got the picture).

'well, even the laborers who work on construction sites do a lot of mehanat, with low iron count, and they suddenly collapse. You want to collapse too?'

'nope. ok, doc, tell me which iron pills i need to swallow.'

'iron pills are quite useless. you will have to change your diet.'

'oh, ' i am flabbergasted.

'the only answer is in nutrition'

'you mean you are not going to prescribe any pills?'

'nope.'

'this is very surprising. doctors usually never talk about nutrition.' i say.

'if they did, who would come to them? they also have to look after their stomachs, na?' says the doc.

'i am so glad to meet a doc without a stomach, doc. tell me, what should i eat?'
Anna Hazare, India has hidden talent.

'All this in one day, every single day

* two badams, 2 dates, 2 anjeer (figs) soaked overnight.

* one apple, with skin, per day, plus other fruits of your choice.

*steamed sprouts one bowl

* green leafy veggies

* one tomato, one beetroot, and one carrot.

* two glasses of milk

* most important, one lemon per day, as without vitamin C, iron is not absorbed.

additional tips: don't keep yourself hungry for long, keep snacks ready with you at all times, eat different grains, eat bhakri (roti made from jowar), snack on jaggery and peanut chikki. for one month, don't count calories.

After one month, test your blood count again. If you have followed this diet to the T , and your count does not increase, mera naam bhi doctor nahin.'

P. S. : Just remembered Kushuaji, my grandmother, used to cook in iron pots for the iron to go into our tummies. Now where do I get an iron pot from?

FILM & TV DIRECTION COURSE IN MUMBAI

"Fulfill your celluloid dreams, every Sunday... Did you harbour a dream of becoming a filmmaker, but ended up pursuing an entirely different profession? Or are you one of those who buried their dreams, while trying to realise more pressing responsibilities? Or do you like to broaden your experiences with learning how things are done in the film industry? There might be good news in store, for such readers... sign up for a Sundays-only course conducted by National Award-winning filmmaker, Rajashree."

MiD DAY, Mumbai Newspaper

"Rajashree is a teacher par excellence. She can make the most difficult topics comprehensible. She is very patient and understanding, yet strict. Her Sunday classes are ideal for students who want to learn hands-on filmmaking without forsaking their responsibilities towards their work or studies. Its well-designed syllabus is practical-oriented; the theory goes into developing a good understanding  of the fundamentals of story-telling and filmmaking. The course requires the students to write and direct a short film, which may be used as a showreel and can also be submitted to film festivals. Films made by the previous batches have been shown at the International Film Festival of India, Goa, the most esteemed film festival in the country."

Complete Television Magazine

Do you want to make feature films, TV shows or short films? But can't spare the time to learn full-time? A new batch of Rajashree's popular 4-month Film & TV Direction Course, with full-day classes on Sundays, in Andheri (W), Bombay, begins in February 2014. It's designed for working people and students by Rajashree, an award-winning film-maker and bestselling novelist who’s taught at FTII, Pune, and some of the best film schools in Bombay. The course is great value for money, since the fees have recently been reduced to Rs 24,900.
We have tied up with Humaramovie, a popular platform for short films with which prominent filmmakers like Anurag Kashyap, Imtiaz Ali, Anurag Basu, Vikramaditya Motwane and Rajat Kapoor have been associated. It has more than a million views per month. We have also tied up with Mediapippl, one of India's best Media Recruitment & Resource Services. They are our placement partners. You would be getting a lot of hands-on practical experience while doing this certificate course, including making a short film. Many films made by students as a part of this course have been screened at the Short Film Center at the prestigious International Film Festival of India, Goa. 
This Sunday course organised by Rajashree is very popular because it has a great faculty, special tie-ups, reasonable fees and a convenient location. And because it gives people the opportunity to learn film-making without leaving their jobs or studies.

So you can now follow your dreams while taking care of your responsibilities.

^_^  Please visit http://filmtvcoursesmumbai.blogspot.in/p/film-tv-direction-course-taught-me-how.html or contact +919769449556 or rajashree.in@gmail.com for more information.

***  “Rajashree taught me how to create 3-dimensional characters, structure the plot, and direct actors, which helped me tremendously when I was writing and directing my movie.” Rakesh Mehta, Rajashree’s ex-student, whose debut feature film, ‘Khuda Kushi’ has won 3 international awards. ***

***  "The next best thing to a course at FTII." - Bharati Hemmady, Rajashree's ex-student.  ***

Rajashree’s Film & TV Direction Course is right for you if you are:

•           A Newcomer to the Film & TV Industry:  The course would equip you to enter the Film and Television Industry professionally as an assistant director and work on feature films, TV programs and advertisements

•           An Animator: You would build on your skills by learning Film & TV Direction. It would make you a better animator, since film-making is such a vital part of animation and special effects. Or, if you want to shift to live action, it would help you do that.

•           A BMM/ BMS Student: The BMS/ BMM course introduces you to various mass media. If you want to specialise in films and TV, this course is just right for you.

•           A Mediaperson who’s learnt on the job: You would benefit from learning the basics formally and getting your fundas clear.

•           A Professional who is already working in the Industry in another capacity: It would help you become a full-fledged director.

•           An Aspiring Short Film-Maker: While our 4-month Film & TV Direction Course is designed for people who want to take up direction as a profession, it also serves film hobbyists. The advent of digital technology and You-tube have revolutionized filmmaking. You can make short films independently at an affordable cost after doing the course. Making short films is ideal for those who want to hone their craft and create an impressive showreel to showcase their talents. It’s also a fun hobby for those who are working full-time. These short films can be shown at film festivals, screened on television, and also uploaded on You-tube & social networking sites for lakhs of people to watch. 

•           From the Corporate Sector: The course would add to your qualifications since films are an increasingly important medium of corporate communication & advertising.

*** "Rajashree is like the energy drink Red Bull! She motivates you to spring into action and pushes you to deliver beyond your limits." - Priya Saraiya, Rajashree’s ex-student. ***

The benefits of joining this Film & TV Direction Course are:

•           FACULTY: The course is organised by Rajashree, an award-winning film-maker and bestselling novelist who has taught at the Film & Television Institute of India and some of the best film schools in Bombay. The faculty members are FTII alumni and professionals from the film industry.

•           SUNDAY CLASSES: Full-day classes on Sundays, so you can pursue your dreams without forsaking the responsibilities of your work or studies.

•           WELL-DESIGNED SYLLABUS: More than 50% of class time would be devoted to hands-on film-making, so that you learn how to transform your ideas into films that light up the silver screen. While the course is practical-oriented, the theory portion would help you develop a sound understanding of the basics of story-telling and Film & TV Direction.

•           STUDENT FILM: You would write and direct a short film. The cinematography and editing would be done by professionals from the Industry, which would be a great learning experience. It would also result in a well-made film which you can be proud of and use as your showreel as well as submit to film festivals.

•           VENUE: The classes will be held in an air-conditioned classroom in Andheri (West).  Since the venue is on S.V. Road, opposite the railway station, it is very easy to reach.

•           VALUE FOR MONEY: The course is fabulous value for money, since the fees have recently been reduced to Rs 24,900 (if the student pays the full amount at the time of registration.) The fees cover the classes, the cost of making the student film, refreshments during classes, a directory of the Film & TV industry and study material like books and cds. A donation of Rs 500 would be given from every student’s fees to a children’s charity.

 •           CERTIFICATE: You would be given a certificate at the successful completion of the course.

•           FILM FESTIVALS: The student films made as part of the course are sent for film festivals. Many films made by previous batches have been screened at the Short Film Center at the International Film Festival of India in Goa.

•           TIE-UP WITH HUMARAMOVIE: We have tied up with Humaramovie for the production and distribution of the short films made by the students as a part of the course. Humaramovie is a platform for short films co-founded by Preety Ali, Pallavi Rohatgi and Vinay Mishra. They have over 26,000 subscribers to their YouTube channel and more than 18,000 Facebook fans. They have a  viewer base of more than a million viewers per month. HumaraMovie is also associated with directors such as Imtiaz Ali, Anurag Kashyap, Anurag Basu, Vikramaditya Motwane and Rajat Kapoor who provide them content for the channel.

•           PLACEMENTS: We have tied up with Medipippl - one of India's best Media Recruitment & Resource Services. They are our placement partners and will help you in getting a job in the Film & TV Industry after you've completed our course. We would also be giving every student a directory of the Film & TV Industry, which has a database of the contact numbers and addresses of all the directors, producers, production houses, actors and service providers of the Indian Film & TV Industry, so that if the student wants to work with a particular director or producer, he/she can contact them directly as well.

•           DEMAND FOR FRESH VOICES: The Indian film and television industry is looking for fresh voices. With the success of 'different' kinds of films and TV programs, there is a demand for out-of-the-box thinking, for directors who understand the art and craft of film-making. It’s a great time to enter the field.

*** "I have had an amazing experience with Rajashree’s script-writing and film-making workshops. The workshops were structured very well and had a good effective blend of relevant theory, creative discussions on assignments, analysis of classics and hands-on experience in writing a script and making a short film. The workshops were conducted very diligently in a focused manner encouraging participation from all students. I found them to be especially useful for working persons as the structure and organization of the workshop accommodated these aspects very well."         - Rajesh V. , ex-student ***

FACULTY: Our faculty members are FTII alumni and professionals from the film industry. Details about some of the teachers on our faculty are given below: 

Rajashree has been a film buff since she was a kid – she stood in a line for five hours to get tickets for Sholay when it was re-released. She has been working in Bombay after studying direction at the Film and Television Institute of India, Poona. She’s assisted Mansoor Khan and Sanjay Leela Bhansali. A film she wrote and directed, The Rebel, was screened at many film festivals, and won the National Award and the Golden Ten Award. She has served as a member of the Executive Committee of the Film Writers’ Association. Her critically acclaimed first book, Trust Me, is a lighthearted romantic comedy set in the Bombay film industry. According to figures given by The Times of India and The Sunday Telegraph, Trust Me is the biggest-selling Indian chick lit novel. It has recently been published in French. She is represented by Isabel Atherton, the director of Creative Authors, a literary agency based in the UK.  She has taught at the Film & Television Institute of India, Pune, and some of the best film schools in Bombay. She has been organising courses independently since 2009. http://rajashree.in

A.M. Padmanabhan, a National Award-winning sound designer, would teach the students about post-production. He has worked with the who's who of Bollywood and has taught at the Film and Television Institute of India, Pune, and the Satyajit Ray Film and Television Institute, Kolkata.

Arun Varma, who has studied Cinematography at the Film & Television Institute of India, Pune, will be teaching the students about camerawork, the various practical aspects of shooting a film and professional behaviour on the set. He has shot Bollywood films like Bhajatey Raho and Dasvidaniya.

Ashok Purang learnt the nuances of theatre under the tutelage of Mr Barry John. He is the founder of two theatre groups Pierrot’s Troupe (estd.1991) & Showbiz Action Players (estd. 2004). For over twenty years, he has been working on Acting Training Methods. He has developed unique and practical methods, which are effective in theatre, as well as TV and films. Being a renowned acting teacher, he has trained a lot of Bollywood actors and upcoming talent. A curator and judge of many short film festivals, Ashok has been a major force behind the new generation of short film makers.
The other faculty members are FTII alumni and professionals from the film industry.
CONTACT

^_^  Please contact +919769449556 or rajashree.in@gmail.com for more information.

DURATION

Full-day classes on 12 Sundays and 2 Saturdays and half-day classes on 2 Sundays, over 4 months.

FEE STRUCTURE

The fees have recently been reduced, making the course great value for money. The course fees cover the classes, the cost of making the student film, refreshments during classes, a directory of the Film & TV industry and study material like books and cds. A donation of Rs 500 would be given from every student’s fees to a children’s charity.

There are two plans for paying the fees:

1.         It is preferable if the student pays the full amount at the time of registration. The fees would be Rs 24,900 for this plan.

2.         It is also possible for the student to pay in monthly installments, in the form of post-dated cheques (non-refundable) that would be submitted at the time of registration. The fees would work out to Rs 29,700 if the payment is made in installments.

The first installment: Rs 9,900 (Payable at the time of registration)

The second installment: Rs 9,900

The third installment: Rs 9,900

COMPLIMENTARY REFRESHMENTS: would be provided to the students during classes.

CHARITY : The administration would give Rs 500 from the fees paid by each student to an NGO that’s working for underprivileged children.

STUDY MATERIAL:

The students would be given:

•           Copies of important books

•           Scripts

•           Links to useful websites and free scriptwriting software

•           A directory of phone numbers and addresses of everybody in the Film and TV Industry

•           CDs & DVDs of some important films

COURSE CONTENT: The course has been designed to teach the students the basics of film-making. There is a well-worked-out balance of practicals and theory classes.

The topics that would be covered are:

• The Process of Making a Film 

• Scriptwriting: Audiovisual Writing & the Format for Writing the Synopsis, Step-outline, Screenplay and Script for a film.

• The Elements of Scriptwriting: Characterisation, Plot, Setting & Theme

• Introduction to Screen Grammar: What is a shot? The editing transitions that can be used to join two shots: Cut, Dissolve, Fade, Wipe, Bleach. The various elements of shot-taking: Image Size, Camera Angles, Camera Movements, Lighting, Camera Speed, Stocks, Graphics, Colour. The Rule of Thirds & the Golden Points. Lenses. Depth of Field and Selective Focus.

• Shot Breakdown

• Continuity and the Imaginary Line

• Ways of Shooting

• Preparing for a Shoot

• How to Narrate a Story or Screenplay to Producers & Actors
• Assisting in Direction

• Directing Actors

• Sound Design

• The Principles of Editing

• How to Make Your Own Low-Budget (or No-Budget) film

• Television: Genres & Techniques

• Film History 

^_^  Please contact +919769449556 or rajashree.in@gmail.com for more information.

COMMENTS ABOUT RAJASHREE'S WORKSHOPS BY EX-STUDENTS:

"I had read quite a few books by Syd Field and Robert McKee but most of them had been written keeping in mind Hollywood  movies. After attending Rajashree's workshop I got to know that Bollywood is a different ball game altogether and what works in Hollywood might not necessarily work in Bollywood, or to make it work you need to add those extra spices (masala) to make it palatable for Indian Audience. If you need to know what works in Bollywood and Tellywood (I mean television) per se, the Bollywood Structure, the Rasas etc., then you must attend her workshop."         - Brijesh Bolar

"To me, Rajashree is like the energy drink Red Bull! She motivates you to spring into action and pushes you to deliver beyond your limits. Without her encouragement, I dont think I would have been able to transform my idea into a screenplay .....And with her encouragement came the right dose of constructive criticism......Also it was a great help to share and brainstorm ideas in the presence of other students and see where your idea stands....It is a relief to see so many people sailing in the same boat as you are and trying to get better and getting there.I was actually groping in the dark when Rajashree came as a ray of hope...."         - Priya Saraiya

"This programme gave me the mechanics of writing for features, along with the confidence. But what Rajashree really did was crack the whip, pushing us constantly to keep writing and keep exploring. The lively discussions were the best part of this programme."         - Satish Desa

"You can't open a door by pushing a wall, this is what I realised in the workshop. Rajashree will not only let you open your thoughts but also direct them to a proper way so that we push the door and not the wall."         - Amit Shukla

^_^  Please contact +919769449556 or rajashree.in@gmail.com for more information.

a taste of life, in the taste of a book

why do we read books? why do we still read books? isn't the internet enough?

long ago, when i fell in love with cinema, i had mulled over this thought : there is something in a book which cant be there in a film. and then, it became, but there is something in a film which cant be there in a book.

so, here i present both: a you tube video and a book review. please see both together.

a guruless seeker is a strange thing to behold. it is hungry for truth and at the same time fierce in its preservation of freedom and sanity. i miss those glorious feet but experience has made me immune to the hocus and to the focus.

so u g krishnamurti had to happen, thanks to a facebook friend who posted his videos.

one after another, i watched u g on youtube blast everything that can be blasted. god, gurus, mothers, yoga and phoga. no need to hocus, nor to focus, just be natural. what a tremendous relief u. g. is. i was thoroughly enjoying myself till i saw this video.

this is a video about u g 's last meeting with friends. there is mahesh bhatt among them. u g looks old and frail, and his sofa cushions are propped up in an inside-out, unique design. i recognize other you tube videos of his to be from the same space-time from this cushion=hill.

at the end of this video, u g says, 'no spiritual shit' and asks people to get out, to let him die alone. or rather, the camera abruptly moves outside, and mahesh bhatt announces that u g wants everyone to leave for ever and he doesn't want a clever guy hanging around.

this moment jolted something inside me. i couldn't 'enjoy' U G anymore. i dreamt that he is alive, hiding in Tiruvannamalai, and only the genuine seekers can still find him. could this be true? since he was an anti-guru, he might even fake his death. I needed a first hand account of his death. now where do i find that? i was going to have to go to mumbai and try to meet mahesh bhatt. i find him a bit too loud, his personality is too overpowering. he would probably shoo me off. imagine my happiness when i found that he has written a book on the exact thoughts that are ruining my sleep.

'all autobiographies are lies, and biographies are double lies.' u g has said. i agree. i still dont know if this book , A taste of life, written by mahesh bhatt on the last days with his dearest friend, is factual or made up. only mahesh can answer that. all i know is, the hurt caused by that video up there is healed. mahesh told us to get out, but then he invited us back in the room where u g breathed his last.

and what an invitation it is. it engulfs you, in a big black bear hug. four years back, in italy, you time travel. and when the book is over you come back to your home but something in you has sunk into the mediterranean sea.

this book will stay with me. when i face the death of dear ones, or my own, this book will talk to me.